


Cogito, ergo sum

by StarryNightLight50



Category: Arrested Development
Genre: M/M, One Shot, Overthinking, Profanity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-07-03 22:23:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15828117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarryNightLight50/pseuds/StarryNightLight50
Summary: A look inside Gob's mind as Tony and him have a conversation over breakfast.See notes





	Cogito, ergo sum

**Author's Note:**

> All right, this fic needs some explanation I think. I kind of wanted to experiment with a kind of dialogue-only story. So, it's only words that are spoken (normal text is Tony, normal text with - in front of it is Gob) and then Gob's thoughts.
> 
> I think all of the Bluths have some sort of mental health problems, Gob just wears his more on his sleeve. So, in my interpretation, the more dominant emotions that run Gob's thougths are anger (italic), fear/self-loathing (underlined) and happy/healthy-ish (bold) (because most of us do have that part, it's just not always dominant unfortunately). 
> 
> Just my attempt to take a peek in the chaos that is Gob's mind.

 

‘’Gobie, you want some eggs?’’

 

 

_He’d like that, wouldn’t he? ‘Eggs’, what, is he implying you’re the girl in this relationship? Or that you can’t cook for yourself?  Is he referring to Egg? Her?! You know this is all just part of his scheme, he never stopped lying to you!_

**Or maybe he does like you? Like the way you know you like him.. Maybe you can be happy together. You’ve been together for 6 months now, that’s way too long to be faking it. You know, he has nothing to gain from this now if he didn’t really like you. He came clean about the lies. And YOU also lied. That’s why you’re so perfect together, because you are SAME.**

****

Come on Gob, don’t be ignorant, either way you’re gonna screw things up if you don’t take control. Either Tony will stab you in the back or he will leave you, what else has there ever been? He’s gonna notice how crazy you are and leave you, like you planned to leave him, you stupid GEObead, what would your father say? You are such a disgrace.

 

 

-‘’Eggs are fine, scrambled please.’’

‘’Coming right up. So, I have a show tonight at the Gothic Castle, but I have the afternoon off, wanna do something together?’’

 

 

**See, see, he LOVES you, he wants to spend time with you, with YOU, Tony freaking Wonder wants to spend time with YOU! After you already spend the night together. Because you are boyfriends! Is it too soon to say ‘boyfriends’? Maybe you should ask him, he always gets you anyway, you can talk to him about anything.**

_That’s what he wants you to believe. Did you not just get that rip? ‘I have a show tonight, YOU DON’T, cause you are a failing magician who probably doesn’t even have any plans today, on a weekday, because you are SUCH a loser’. He can’t imagine you having any kind of life, because he’s SO amazing, UNLIKE you. That’s what he thinks, that’s what they all think._

It is, isn’t it? Because it’s true. You are a loser. If you try to contradict it, he’ll finally realize that’s just what you are and that he’s made a huge mistake by being with you. He’ll laugh at you and leave you. Don’t get him mad, don’t show him what you’re thinking, just, don’t make any bad decisions or you’ll ruin it. DON’T BE WEIRD DON’T BE WEIRD DON’T BE WEIRD –

 

 

-‘’Sure, that seems nice. Although maybe I have something planned, I don’t remember, crazy busy you know, haha. Let me check my phone real quick.’’

‘’Same, same. Some days I’m like ‘am I living my life or is my life living me’, haha.’’

 

 

He is so totally on to you. He knows you don’t have any plans. You idiot. You freaking idiot.

 

**Calm down, stop obsessing, he’s just making conversation.**

_He’s just playing with you. He’s trying to set you up, catch you in a lie. DON’T LET HIM. Come on Gob, do something right for a change._

 

 

-‘’Nope, nothing planned. So, did you have something in mind?’’

‘’Actually, yeah. So, uhm, I don’t know if this is too soon or whatever, but my sister is in town and I was thinking of having lunch with her. Do you…do you wanna come with? I totally get it if you don’t.’’

 

 

What? WHAT? What does this mean?? Is he asking you to just tag along or like, be introduced to his sister as maybe a boyfriend? Or just as a friend? Maybe she’s bringing friends too and you’re reading way too much into this. But then why would he say that it might be ‘too soon’? Dear God, you have to say something or you’ll look like an idiot!

 

_Why would he do this to you? He’s messing with you! Trying to manipulate you into being the first to talk about your ‘relationship’ or whatever, so he can just deny it. Don’t fall for it!_

**What are you talking about? This was exactly what you wanted a minute ago! Now you’re getting it and you don’t trust it? Remember what that ostrich said; ‘if you won't open up and let someone else in, then the treasures you have inside may never come out’. Which could also mean that you’re finally gonna pass those accidentally swallowed keys and coins or whatever, but just- take the risk.**

 

‘’F..forget I even mentioned it, it was totally lame. I was just messing with you, ha-ha, yeah, uhm,-‘’

-‘’No! I mean, no, I’d like that. If you still want me too… but like, I never met someone’s family before. Well, not intentionally or because I was being introduced as a-‘’

 

 

_NOOOO, stupid stupid stupid, don’t be the first to say it! This could still be all part of a bigger plan to trick you!_

Oh god oh god why are you even talking to yourself if you won’t listen?! This is waaay too soon and he’ll just laugh at you now, just brace yourself, maybe try to play it off like a joke. And why the hell did you almost mention the time you screwed girlfriend number-whatever’s sister! That definitely wasn’t inconspicuous enough, he’s gonna think you’re a whore. Which you are, a loudmouth WHORE.

 

**All right, maybe you’re jumping the gun a little, but he was totally hinting at it. Pretty sure you’re both on the same page. Just look at him and let him respond before you try to run away or something.**

 

 

‘’…boyfriend? Same!’’ / -‘’…boyfriend? Same!’’

‘’That’s insame! Ok! Then I guess we’re having lunch with my sister. She is so gonna freak when she finds out, but don’t worry, I know she’ll be cool with it, just surprised.’’

-‘’I get that. I hope she’ll like me though, I don’t always make a great first impression.’’

‘’What are you talking about? You make an amazing first impression. And second impression. And so on. What I mean is: just be yourself and you’ll be fine.’’

 

 

**_ Wait. What? _ **

 

 

-‘’Wait. What?’’

‘’Just be yourself Gobie. Don’t overthink it. I think I know you well enough to know that you get stuck in your head sometimes. I can see it in your eyes even now. And it’s okay to be nervous, but what I’m saying is: you don’t need to be.’’

-‘’But….but…what if I screw it up? I don’t even know what you mean. Should I be the amazing performing-Gob? Or flirtatious-Gob? Or sad-Gob? What does ‘be yourself’ even mean?!’’

‘’See, there you go, overthinking it again. Just be Gob, a little bit of all of those, but mostly the one I’ve come to…have feelings for. The one who’s passionate, the one who hugs me like he doesn’t want to let go. The one who’s open about his past and feelings, even if it’s in the dark when he thinks I’m sleeping. The one who looks at me like I’m the greatest thing ever. The one who gets grumpy if he doesn’t have some time to collect himself. The creative one, the lazy one, the one who either thinks too much or too little about what others think of him. The one who makes mistakes, and is way too hard on himself, but does try to learn from them, the one—‘’

\---

‘’…wow. The one who kisses me like that! Although, maybe not appropriate in front of my sister, haha.’’

-‘’Tony….’’

‘’Yes Gob?’’

-‘’Thank you.’’

 

 

**There you go. See? Everything worked out just fine.**

But wasn’t that a bit too clingy? People don’t like it when you’re clingy…

 

_Why couldn’t you just keep your mouth shut! You don’t need all these confusing feelings! Just run away!_

 

‘’No need to thank me, it’s just…how I feel.’’

 

 

….

_…._

**Wow. It’s never been so quiet here before. This is amazing. Tony is amazing. You did good, Gob, be proud of yourself.  You can do this, you can be happy if you just let yourself. Trust Tony. Be…yourself.**

 

-‘’Let’s go meet your sister.’’

 


End file.
